The reason we exist
by GoldenEyesRock
Summary: What happened during Jacob's first transformation into a werewolf? What did Sam really show Jacob that led him to be cautious around Bella?


**A/N: This is during New Moon, when Jacob makes his first transformation into a werewolf. Enjoy!**

_Oh…my…God. _For the first time in a long time, that was my _own _thought. Embry, Jared, Sam, and even Paul kept _saying_ things. _WHAT_ _the heck was happening to me???_

My mind was filled with rage, yet I didn't know why. Every time I looked down at myself, I let out a gasp of revulsion. My originally wiry, lean body had become something that looked like… as hard as it was to believe, a _wolf_. A wolf magnified ten times the normal size, with rusty brown fur shooting out everywhere.

_Its okay, Jacob. Everything's all right. _Sam. Leave it to _him_ to be the one involved with this. _Just stay calm, okay?_

_Hey, Jake! 'Bout time, too. _Embry. I'd missed him, ever since he'd joined Sam's "cult", but seeing him like this, like _me_, was too much. I wasn't even sure if I wanted to be his friend right now.

_Jacob? You probably don't know me that well. I'm Jared. And we'll explain things to you. I promise. _He'd better. The sudden spout of anger shook me, and I remembered Sam's advice. Calming down, I waited for the final member of the wolf pack, to speak his thoughts to me.

_Damn kid has better self-control than I do. I'm Paul. Managed not to tear Billy up, huh?_ I cringed at the thought and the image; me turning into _something_ and watching Billy's horrified face. Yet something haunted me. Although Billy's face portrayed many emotions, surprise wasn't one of them. It was as if… as if he'd known what was going to happen. As if he'd known- and not told me.

_Listen, Jacob. You need to understand something- you're a werewolf. It's okay, all right?_ WEREWOLF??? ALL RIGHT??? I'd always thought Sam was crazy. This proved it. What was he talking about? _You've just got to keep calm, and eventually you'll transform back. Obviously, in case you've noticed, academics as your priority is really not an option. _

What? Even though I hadn't enjoyed school, I'd done well enough that hopefully, would get me into a decent college. _Jacob, if you ever get mad, at anything, there's a really big chance that you'll transform, and you might harm one of the students. And that's something you can't control. Likewise, there's no way that you can keep seeing that girl that you always hang out with. What's her name? The Chief's daughter?_

No. They couldn't. Not Bella, too. _I'm sorry, Jacob. _I shied away from the remorseful thought, and begged that this was all just a horrible dream. Why now? I'd begun to think I actually had a chance with her, with Edward Cullen gone. This couldn't happen, not now. _Look. _A video played in my mind, one of Sam's memories. His face was contorted in pain, and, as I watched, I understood why.

_A soundless clip of Sam and Emily played. Sam was arguing with Emily, tremors running rapidly down his arms. Suddenly, as if consumed by his anger, he erupted, black fur spewing out of his skin. Emily screamed, and stepped back, her black hair flying wildly, but not quickly enough, as a claw from the black wolf exploded out and grazed the side of her face. Long red marks appeared on her skin as she screamed again, and Sam took off into the forest, an undeniable look of terror in his wolfish eyes. _

The clip ended there, leaving me huddled in my wolf form on the cold forest floor, stricken by not only grief for Sam, but horror, horror for Bella. I understood why I couldn't see her now. _Good. You understand. Then you probably know now that under any circumstances, you are _not_ to tell her that you are a werewolf. _

What the heck did he mean _werewolf_? As far as I knew, the mythical creatures only existed in those meaningless Hollywood portrayals. Was this something like an animagus, in those magic books?

_Jacob, what do we call ourselves?_ Hey, why was he acting like I was one of them? One of the "Protectors"? Not happening. _Correct. We protect people from our one true enemy._

I almost snorted in my brain. What, vampires? Like in Billy's stupid- _Exactly. Whenever vampires are around, that means, that _we're_ around. And that means bloodsuckers, like the Cullens._

I could almost hear the scowl of fury in Sam's thoughts. Billy's superstitions were true? Bella dated a _vampire?_ _Bella_, my thoughts pined No. I couldn't think about her. Not anymore, not ever. But… the Cullens left. Didn't they?

_Yes, Jacob, they did. But you're forgetting- there are others. Others who don't follow the Cullen's lifestyle. _I didn't understand at first. _You see, the Cullens were… unique. They were a strange coven, a coven that followed different rules. Instead of drinking human blood, they drank animal blood._

Eww. I knew my thoughts were immature, but just the thought of drinking blood was appalling to me. _And that's what we protect humans from. That's the reason we exist, Jacob. _

I looked around, but Embry, Jared, and Paul had vanished. _I'll see you around, Jacob._ Sam's last thought before he sprinted off had a chilling feeling to it, but I didn't think about that.

_Bella, Bella, Bella,_ my heart thumped, over and over again. _Bella, Bella, Bella. I'm so sorry, for… whatever it is I've become._ After what seemed like an eternity, I slowly calmed down, and felt myself make the transformation back to a human. Leaning my head on my bare knees, I broke down, and cried.

**A/N: Aww! Poor Jake, right? This is tentatively a oneshot, because I don't know if I've portrayed Jacob correctly. Review, and tell me how I did? Please? **

**A/N: AIM with the Cullens... yeah. I'm probably going to write part of the chapter tomorrow, so there's an update on that, okay? XD**


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